October 8, 2010

As I rush about doing my housework, I realize how grateful I am for organized chaos despite my frustrations with the pace of my daily life.

I often read laments of parents complaining that their children prevent them from being able to complete housework at a productive pace. You may think this is absurd… but my children are TOO helpful! I actually work FASTER because of them.

My daily chores are literally done in hyper-drive. Before you consider me unnaturally blessed, understand it can be unnerving most days because I feel dizzy and exhausted by noon. I have to be three steps ahead of them at all times to be sure I do not have to redo all of my tasks four times as they attempt to ‘help’ me through my day.

It is absolutely imperative I assign them chores and tasks to keep them occupied and feeling useful… and then I rush to complete my workload ahead of them. Before you consider me decidedly encumbered by this hastening, however, understand the value of their little hands in the dishpan next to mine.

When there are dishes to be washed, my children eagerly pull up chairs to the kitchen sink and jump right into the suds. Usually, water is splashed down their shirts and onto the floor and counters as they clumsily attempt to wash the same cup inside and out for the third time, each time dumping the dishwater from the tumbler in the opposite direction of the sink.

I have found that the optimal time to scrub the floor is immediately after dishes are done, so there is never an excuse to put off that chore.

As I load the dishwasher, my youngest, Davi, will ‘help’ by pulling various clean dishes from cupboards and drawers he can reach and load those as well. When I unload the dishwasher, he will insist upon emptying the lower basket for me… in whatever lower cupboard he can reach. If, for some reason, the item will not fit into the cupboard or drawer he has selected… he will simply remove the cupboard’s contents so he can put his new dishes in the space. To negate his efforts to help in this manner, I have learned that giving him a handful of dish towels to hang up on various knobs throughout the kitchen keeps him busy enough for me to at least get the dishes out of the dishwasher and onto the counter where he cannot reach.

My children also frequently rearrange pantry shelves for me as I put groceries away… to create what they believe is the appropriate amount of space (an empty shelf). The items in the lower cabinets are all crammed into one randomly selected cabinet… generally on the opposite side of the kitchen.

I’ve now learned that I simply need to immediately empty all of the grocery bags onto the floor and assign the girls the task of sorting like items while the boys deliver the groceries to me to put away. This generally results in me running frantically around the kitchen, accepting groceries with the speed and skill of eight flailing arms. I, at least, do not have to relocate my pumpkin spice or pesto sauce the following week because they had determined it fit better with the Tupperware.

As I load the washing machine, they are all typically crammed into the tiny 6’x6’ laundry room (less than half of that standing space) along with me, attempting to hand off clothes to go into the appropriate machine.

However, Davi usually grows impatient with the process and starts sticking dirty laundry into the dryer (which hopefully does not have a clean load waiting to come out), or he starts the machine prematurely (which is front-loading and locks)! In the meantime, Finn and Lorelei begin to re-sort dirty baskets (already sorted by color) because they do not want their clothes washed together.

I will sort a few loads of clean laundry at a time, and as I take the baskets to their designated bedrooms… Finnley will decide that the remaining baskets should not be sorted by family member but rather by color as they were before washing… so I will come back to find the baskets re-sorted for me. By the time I get to each sorted basket of laundry, to fold and put them away, Davi has begun to take clean clothes back to the washing machine.

Kaydenc and Lorelei are generally pretty good at folding clothes with me… or matching socks up, but for every one article of clothing I fold and put away… there are three that Finnley will not surrender because he is still carefully creasing them, and Davionn has begun to stuff his ‘folded’ clothes into whatever drawers he can get open.

To avoid this chaos as much as possible… I have learned to encourage them to sort the colors outside the laundry room while I load whatever clothes I have already sorted, and although I will likely have to pick odd items out as I put the next load into the wash… At least I can move around in the laundry room more effectively to stay one load ahead of them. I also generally try to wash linens between clothing loads so they can work on folding towels or making beds while I attempt to sort clean clothing before they are done.

Vacuuming also must be carefully choreographed. While I make my way around each room, there is an inevitable tangle of cords laced together by whichever child pushes along the electric broom, bobbing and weaving behind me.

We have several toy vacuums, which stay close at hand. Generally, one of them will creep along the room two inches ahead of my vacuum, slowing the pace of the project to a crawl. At the same time, another giggles hysterically as they play bumper vacuums, ramming their little plastic sweeper into the side of my machine and ankles.

Without fail, when I sweep the kitchen floor, their tiny replica brooms spasmodically sweep into my pile of dirt. I usually rush to vacuum up what is left to prevent them from spraying me in the face with the debris as they race to be the one that ‘helps’ me push the dirt into a dustpan. There is really little to be done about this circus act… so I’ve encouraged them to make a game of it instead… they have to try to not get run over or be sucked up by my vacuum. 😉

Unfortunately, this game tends to discourage others from assisting with the chores at our house. Apparently, four kids screaming and running in circles around the room are not ideal conditions for vacuuming by most standards.

Feeding the dogs is a regular responsibility of the girls… but lately, Finnley and Davionn have taken to refilling the dishes at will. 8lbs of dog food does not fit into a dog dish. I believe they are under the impression the problem is with their technique, though… so they just keep trying to make it fit. However, they are more than willing to help pick up the spilled dog food and have recently started cleaning up the mess before I discover it.

Despite their efforts to be helpful, I always do. I ‘discover’ it in the oven drawer, in the sippy cup drawer, on the pantry shelves, and in my shoes. The fact that they now clean it up, instead of running for hockey sticks and batting it under the appliances, is a huge improvement, though.

Although simple daily chores can leave me ragged and worn, and some days, urgently considering slamming my head in the freezer door… I consistently praise my kids for being so helpful, and am grateful they are learning homemaker responsibilities so young. Even when they unroll an entire roll of paper towel attempting to dust the coffee table, or knock a whole box of cereal off the counter with a broom handle, trying to sweep up the Cheerios they just spilled … I try to acknowledge that I understand their intention was to be helpful, and I appreciate that.

Kaydenc is proud of her ability to make beds and will go through the house making all of them, with obsessive perfection, without being asked. Lorelei loves to set and clear the table and often begs me for more than an hour before dinner to allow her to get the dishes out. Finnley always opens and holds doors for me and loves to walk the dogs (with my assistance, of course). Finally, my bouncing baby, Davionn, picks up everything he deems ‘trash’ and promptly throws it away. Sure, it is sometimes inconvenient assistance, but they thrive on being helpful and appreciated.

Do they generate more messes than they effectively clean up? They sure do! Would I trade them for zombie kids who watch television all day and leave me to my tasks? Not for anything. I’m a fast-forward momma with hopelessly helpful children, and I don’t think we could function any other way.